Is the No Contact Rule Really a Factor in How to Win Your Boyfriend Back?
I’m sure you’ve heard of it: The infamous “no contact rule.”
There’s a whole bunch of confusion, though, over what it is and whether it’s somehow the magic formula for how to win your boyfriend back. So what’s the deal? Is no contact really even a way to get him back? I’m going to use this post to try to clarify the importance of the no contact rule as well as what it does and does not do in terms of helping you to get your ex boyfriend back.
Why No-Contact?
Everybody says that it’s important to cut off communication with him after he’s broken up with you, but nobody seems to no why. In a nutshell, the no contact rule provides a buffer for your emotions. It gives you time to get your head on straight and keeps you from doing or saying something that you can’t take back.
***Most women don’t know the Core Reason why men leave. Do you? Click Here to find out if it’s what you think.***
The desperation that comes with trying to figure out how to win your boyfriend back can make you into someone you’re not. You’ll do and say things that can drive him further away rather than making him want you again. However, if you’re not having any contact with him then you don’t run the risk of making it look 
like he made the right decision by dumping you. You can let the pain and heartache you’re feeling right now play itself out or at least ease up on you – and it will get better – without risking him perceiving you as the dreaded psycho ex.
That’s a cruel way for me to say it, and I know you’re hurting, but that’s exactly what he’s going to think if you refuse to leave him alone.
If I had to delve a little deeper into this subject I would venture to say that worrying about how to win your boyfriend back is possibly the wrong thing to be concentrating on at the moment. In order to do that you’ll need a rational, well thought-out set of tactics. It’s just simply impossible for you to be rational when you’re experiencing the raw emotion that comes in the days right after a break up.
So why is it that people tell you to use the no contact rule as part of their advice on how to win your boyfriend back? Well it’s because in addition to its value in terms of putting you on the road to recovery, it’s also a good opening tactic in your mission to win back his love.
How No-Contact Can Work to Win Your Boyfriend Back
Listen, over time people become nostalgic. This is just simply human nature. We all tend to remember what was good in our past as the painful or unpleasant memories tend to fade into the background. So when you decide to have the discipline to just leave him alone what you’re actually doing is letting his natural tenancy to remember you in a more positive light start to take over his thinking.
Guess what? He might even start to miss you. And better yet, he could start wondering if he made the wrong decision by leaving you!
One other factor that comes into play in the relationship between having no contact after a break up and how to win your boyfriend back is the element of curiosity. There’s a pretty good chance that your boyfriend put off breaking up with you for a long time because thought you would go “schizo.” (Again I apologize for putting things so bluntly. I know it hurts, but that’s how guys think.) But when that doesn’t happen he starts to wonder, sooner or later, what’s going on with you.
And after that…waaaaaiiit for it…the dreaded male ego starts to kick in, except now it’s working FOR you. That’s because he’s automatically going to start wondering if he was as important to you as he thought he was. And that, ladies, why no contact is such an important factor in how to win your boyfriend back.
Is every case going to work out exactly like this if you just cut off all contact with your ex boyfriend after the break up? Obviously not; every situation is different. BUT, ask yourself, do you see any possibility of the scenario I described above playing out in your favor if you obsess over how to win your boyfriend back and refuse to just leave him alone for a little while? Probably not.
So give it a try. Use this time right after your break up to work out some of the hurt. Get yourself back to a more rational state of mind, and then your odds of getting your man back improve exponentially.
***What is the One Thing every man wants in his relationship? Click Here To Understand Your Man.***
How to Win Your Boyfriend Back
It’s safe to say that a lot of sacrifice needs to go into any relationship if it’s going to have any hope of success. In addition to that, you and your partner need to be good at the art of compromise.
If you’re trying to figure out how to win your boyfriend back then these two qualities should be foremost in your mind. Getting back together after a break up is never an easy proposition, but it is certainly possible. If you follow the advice I share here, getting him back will be much less of a crap-shoot.
***Are you making these mistakes with your ex boyfriend? Dangerous Mistakes You Need To AVOID.***
What Went Wrong?
To start, trying to figure out how to win your boyfriend back is the wrong thing to be spending your time and energy on in the days immediately following a break up. Instead you should be trying to identify what went wrong. If you don’t learn from the mistakes of the past you’re doomed to repeat them, and any hope of living happily ever after flies right out the window!
So where does mending a broken relationship begin? When your boyfriend breaks up with you it is always because of you. Now I know this sucks – and it probably isn’t fair – but it’s the truth.
Regardless, there are two possible reasons why he broke up with you. The first is that you didn’t give him all the attention he needed or wanted.
Think back.
Did you dismiss his concerns or opinions or maybe make yourself unavailable? Be honest, because while you may think you were always there for him his point of view might have been way different.
Seeing yourself from his point of view is vital if you’re going to have a chance at winning him back.
The second – and probably the likelier – reason for your break up is that you didn’t give him his “space.”
Look we’re men and we need to go out into the big scary world every once in a while and roam the wild and hunt our wooly mammoths. It’s in our DNA. At some point you need to trust that that’s all your guy is doing when the two of you aren’t together. If you do he’ll be much more like the man of your dreams when he returns to you.
Even though these two cases are at opposite ends of the spectrum they’re equally poisonous to your relationship, but it’s important to determine which of these factors led to your break up before you begin to decide how to win your boyfriend back.
It’s Up To You
Yes, your relationship was a two-sided affair and he bears his share of responsibility for the break up, but if he was the one who decided to break things off then you can’t assume that he feels that way. So your only option at this point is to instead assume that the split was entirely because of you and then go about identifying what you did to drive him away.
Yep, like I already said here, it’s not fair, but it’s the only thing you can control right now.
You have no way of affecting his thoughts or feelings at this moment, and if you try you’ll most likely just be confirming in his mind that he made the right decision. So you need to take ownership of the situation.
How To Win Your Boyfriend Back
So now it’s time to identify what that factor was that caused your boyfriend to break up with you. Once you’re pretty sure what the poison apple was then you’re on your way to possibly having a chance at winning him back. If you’ve heard of the “no contact rule,” this is one of the reasons it’s so important – it gives you (and him) time to get your head on straight and to think rationally.
So, what could it have been that caused your boyfriend or fiance to call it quits? It’s time for you to really be honest with yourself. Try to see yourself from his point of view; not necessarily looking specifically for faults, but just a general examination of how he might have seen you. Take note of the things you might want to change about yourself that you think might have pushed your boyfriend away. Ignore what is beyond your control. This exercise is terrific because it can really let you see things about yourself that maybe you didn’t notice before.
Change – It’s As Much About the WHY as the HOW
But there is one very important thing to keep in mind. When you identify an area of your life or a personal characteristic that you think you want to change, ask yourself if you want this change for YOU or is it just something that you think will make HIM like you more. This time needs to be about you and you alone. Trying to change for someone else just makes you “artificial,” and it will be a turn-off to everyone around you.
Another thing about personal change is it’s not going to happen overnight. Real, lasting change only comes with persistent practice and patience. Plus you need to make sure that you want to change for the right reasons. You’re doing this for yourself, not him. Sure, you’re trying to figure out how to win your boyfriend back, but even if you do get him back what good is it if you don’t like the person you’ve become?
If I had to decide the most important piece of advice to give you right after you’ve been dumped it would have to be to just leave him alone for a while, and use this time to get your head on straight. It really is best not to contact him at all until you have you emotions under control. Trust me he won’t forget about you. And even if he starts seeing someone else, all is not lost. (Rebound relationships are notorious for not lasting.)
So as for how to win your boyfriend back, use this time to get to know yourself.
—– —– —–
Does he still care for you? Click Here to learn the sure signs that will tell you If You’re Still In His Heart.